As of late, I have seen a lot of people giving “marriage advice.” Which makes me think, if everyone is an expert, why is the divorce rate in America so high? According to mckinleyirvin.com, the average marriage in America last eight years! About FORTY to FIFTY percent of marriages in America ends in divorce, according to apa.com. Arranged marriages in other countries have a divorce rate of SIX percent compared to the United States, according to thedailycougar.com. What does that teach us?
Marriage is not based on how you feel it should be or being perfectly in love all the time. The point of marriage is to stay married successfully. From these statistics, it’s about honoring your vows over your emotion.
Single people can not give great advice on marriage because it’s unqualified advice. Everyone has a good idea of how marriage should be and the way they want their marriage to be. An idea of marriage is something EVERYONE has. For some reason, singles give advice to marriages they see that are not ideal and give their advice as if they’re the only people who have a great idea of how marriage should be. People change and life happens. A person can think all day long how they will handle a life crisis until they are actually living the life crisis. If it was that simple, more marriages would last and the U.S. wouldn’t have such a high divorce rate. Bashing marriages don’t make your single life and marriage ideas appealing either. It comes off as naive or envious. A marriage that cares about honoring their vows do not care how they are perceived by people or others’ opinions. What will matter is their union and their own perspective of it.
Newlyweds are not qualified either to give marital advice. Everyone is perfectly happy in the beginning until life happens. People are faced with real life crisis because life happens and no one stays the same forever.
Even if you’ve been married for a while, your marriage journey may be different from another’s marriage. Just like people are different and unique, so are marriages. Just because your marriage have never experienced certain problems, don’t mean it’s the ideal marriage for everyone just because it is for you. Anyone can stay in a problem free marriage. A beautiful marriage is one who have experienced everything life throws at them and still choose to do life together forever. A beautiful marriage is one who have seen the ugliest side of their spouse and still choose to do life together forever.
If you’re not a marriage counselor in the church and qualified, let go and let God without forcing an unqualified opinion.
The Scripture teaches,
” What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder,” Mark 10:9.
So if a marriage does not end on their own free will, or better, God’s Will, a marriage does not need your unfit opinion. Maybe if people focused on the meaning of vows rather than opinions and unqualified advice, more marriages in the U.S. would last.
Given the statistics, more people are “relationship experts” because of the trend of it, not qualifications. God designed marriage, so before major decisions are made, consult HIM.
I hope this bless you! 💜